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TODAY?

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Here’s a great skit that deals with the second coming of Christ from heaven’s perspective. You may want an introductory or concluding text: 1 Thessalo

Actors Michael, the angel;
Gabriel, the angel;
Abraham;
Peter;
David

Action
Scene: A table sits in the middle of the stage with a box representing an earth scanner on it. A phone sits on the table also. Michael stands behind or beside the scanner adjusting knobs. Michael:
(Telephone rings.) Uh-oh, it’s the hotline. (Answers phone.) Yes sir, good morning.
Today? Right now? But nobody is expecting it! (pause) Right sir, they are supposed to be watching and prepared, and a few are, but.., yes, sir.., yes … right away, sir. (Dials phone.) Hello, Dave? Get the troops ready. Today is C-day! Yes, I mean today!

Gabriel: (enters singing “Oh What a Beautiful Morning” and struts around during the following conversation, but hardly ever looks at Michael) Well, Michael, I see things are in order this morning.

Michael: Gabriel, my friend, you better get your lips tuned up and your trumpet polished.

Gabriel: These lips are always tuned. Always ready to sound forth the call of God.

Michael: Well, you .

Gabriel: Always in tune for the Lord.

Michael: Then you are already .

Gabriel: Always polished up and ready to blow is the trumpet of this angel.

Michael: Then you’ll be glad to hear that today is the day.

Gabriel: (not listening to Michael) My troops of trumpeters always stand with horns ready to blow forth the call of God, whenever that may be . . . TODAY? It can’t be! I’m not ready! I have to practice. I don’t even remember how to blow charge. My troops aren’t ready. Are you sure it’s today? How could it be?

Michael: That’s what the Almighty said. I just talked to him on the hotline.
Gabriel: Man, I better get ready. (hurries out, runs into Abraham)
Abraham: (entering) Morning, Gabe, what’s the hurry?
Gabriel: I’m not ready!
Abraham: What’s with him? What’s he mean he’s not ready?
Michael: Not ready for the C-day.
Abraham: Really? I thought everybody was ready for that day. When it comes I’ll be ready. But that will probably be a good while.
Michael: I don’t know, Abraham. It could be sooner.
Abraham: What do you mean? I thought a bunch of signs had to occur first.
Michael: Suppose they already have.
Abraham: Maybe, but I just don’t think Jehovah would do it yet. See, I figure there is going to be this war between Russia and …
Michael: Abe, I got a call from the Almighty a little while ago. He said he’s decided upon a day.
Abraham: When, Mike? You gotta tell me!
Michael: Today.
Abraham: TODAY? It can’t be! I’m not ready. I’ve got to get my people ready! I’ve got to get all Israel together. I gotta find Moses and Aaron. (exit)
Peter: (entering) Hey, Mike, what’s with Abraham? You’d think today was the second coming or something.
Michael: Maybe it is, Peter.
Peter: (ignoring Michael) Everybody is getting kind of stirred. I saw Gabe practicing his trumpet. He hasn’t blown that thing in years. I guess it could be soon.
Michael: Peter, it’s today.
Peter: Yeah, it could be anytime soon . . . WHAT? TODAY? It can’t be. Why didn’t he warn us?
Michael: What do you mean? He did.
Peter: I’ve got to get the gates ready. They have to be polished. I have to wash my robe. I gotta get out the Book of Life. I thought it would be soon but not today! (runs out) Hey, Andrew, Thomas!
David: (enters) How’s it look, General?
Michael: Real good, Dave. There’s a bit of confusion, but things are shaping up. Are the troops in line?
David: Ready to go.
Michael: Good. We’ve got just a few minutes to countdown.
David: Say, Michael, do you think there’s going to be enough room for all those people in heaven? You know they’re still working on those mansions over on the west side.
Michael: The Lord knows what he’s doing. Besides, there’s going to be fewer than we expected. I’ve been watching the earth scanner. It looks like we aren’t the only ones surprised and unprepared. There’s going to be even more confusion on earth.
David: I sure hope we get a lot of kids. I’d hate to see them go …
Michael: Right. Me, too.
David: I better get to the troops.
Michael: I’ll be right there. (picks up phone) Yes, this is General Michael. Get ready for the countdown. (pause) Ready. . . one minute… 59… 58… 57 … (pause, looking down at earth scanner) Ready or not, here we come. (exit)

Categories: Church

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