(Scene: Throne room, Queen, Mrs Twig, Miss Cook enter together,stand along the path to the throne)
QUEEN – Oh, dear, the King will not be happy about this. He willnot be happy at all.
AIDE — (enters, pounds walking stick on floor, shouts) The kingis coming. The king is coming. Make way for the King. (crossesto throne)
KING — (enters, walks slowly to throne, nodding to each personwho bows, sits on throne, nods to Aide)
AIDE — The king is on his throne. Let those having businessbefore the king draw near and be heard.
KING — Wait a minute. Wait a minute. This is the Kingdom ofPerfection, the happiest kingdom on Earth. Why are there nosmiling faces in my kingdom this morning?
AIDE — I’m afraid that the news is not good, your majesty.(shouts) Send in the prisoners.
AMY — (enters) Hi, Daddy.
BOB — (follows) Hi, Dad.
KING — Children, when I am on the throne, you must call me”Your majesty”.
AMY & BOB — Yes, your majesty. (bow)
KING — (looks around) Can anyone tell me why my children arebeing held prisoner?
AIDE — They have broken the laws of the kingdom, your majesty.
KING — Children, what do you have to say about this?
AMY — It’s no big deal, Daddy…. I mean, Your Majesty.
BOB — Yeah, Dad, I don’t know what all the fuss is about.
KING — We shall see. (to Aide) Read the charges.
AIDE — (reads from scroll) The princess is charged withcheating on her test at school.
KING — This sounds pretty serious to me. Would you care toexplain?
AMY — Well, it was just a weekly quiz.
KING — Who is the accuser here?
QUEEN – This is Mrs Twig, our daughter’s teacher.
KING — Mrs Twig, is this true. Did my daughter really cheat inschool?
TWIG — She was taking a test and I saw her look at herneighbor’s test for an answer. When I looked on their tests bothhad the same wrong answer.
KING — That’s cheating! Cheating is not allowed in our perfectkingdom! Princess, what do you have to say for yourself?
AMY — I forgot to study for the test, but I didn’t want toadmit it to anyone, so I cheated.
KING — This kind of selfishness has no place in the Kingdom ofPerfection. Read the charge against my son.
AIDE — (reads from scroll) The prince is charged with greedand disobedience.
BOB — He makes it sound like something really serious. Itisn’t like I was stealing from the poor or anything. What’s allthis fuss over a few cookies, Dad? I mean, Your Majesty.
KING — Who is the accuser here?
QUEEN – Both the royal cook and I are the accusers in this case,your majesty.
KING — Please`explain.
QUEEN – The royal cook had just baked a batch of cookies and theprince had already eaten several of them before I told him thatmore cookies would spoil his appetite for dinner.
KING — But he ate more cookies anyway?
COOK — Yes, your majesty, when he thought I wasn’t watching,the prince ate two more cookies and put a handful of cookiesinto his pockets.
KING — Children, do you know the name of this kingdom?
BOB & AMY — Perfection.
KING — That’s right, The name of this Kingdom is Perfection.The reason people move to this kingdom when they could liveanywhere else in the whole world is because this is the happiestkingdom on earth. The reason this kingdom is happy is becauseeverything here is perfect. People in this kingdom are kind andgenerous with one another. If they were not, this would not be aperfect kingdom, and noone would want to live here. I can’t letyou get away with being selfish in a perfect kingdom.
BOB — Yeah, but it was just a handful of cookies.
AMY — It was just a stupid test, Daddy…. Your majesty.
KING — Children, even the slightest hint selfishness createsunhappiness. And in order to insure that this kingdom remains ahappy place to live, we can’t allow ANY selfishness no matterhow small it seems to you. (to Aide) What is the penalty forthis kind of selfishness?
AIDE — (reads from scroll) The law calls for the selfish peopleto be banished the kingdom forever, your majesty.
ALL — (gasp)
KING — Banished from the kingdom?!
AIDE — That’s the way the law reads, your majesty. The wordingis very clear.
KING — You mean expel them?! Kick them out?!
AIDE — Yes, Your Majesty.
KING — This won’t do! This won’t do at all! These children arethe heirs to my throne. They will rule this kingdom some day.
AIDE — There may be a way out of this predicament, YourMajesty.
KING — Oh? How so?
AIDE — The Bible says “Folly is bound up in the heart of achild, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.”
KING — You mean, a spanking for the prince and princess?!
ALL — (gasp)
AIDE — That was the solution in ancient times, your majesty.That way the price was paid for selfishness, so perfection andhappiness could be maintained in the Kingdom of Perfection.
KING — (deep breath) Very well, I hereby pass the sentence ofspanking for my selfish children.
ALL — (gasp)
AMY — Daddy, no!BOB — Ah, come on, Dad!
AIDE — Are you sure this is what you want to do, your majesty?
KING — I have only two choices in this case. Either thechildren must be banished from the Kingdom of Perfection foreverfor their selfishness or they must be severely punished. I don’tsee any other way to maintain the perfection and happiness ofthe kingdom, do you?
AIDE — I suppose not, Your Majesty.
KING — My queen?
MOM — As painful as it is to see my children punished, Idon’t see any other way.
KING — Well then, the penalty for selfishness is spanking andthe penalty will be carried out immediately…. (removes hisroyal robe, drops it on the throne, removes his crown) ….Onme.
ALL — (gasp)
AIDE — Did you say that YOU will take their punishment, YourMajesty?
KING — (exiting) That’s right. I will step down from my throneand take the punishment for my children so that they may remainin my kingdom forever.
ALL — (bow as King passes, then follow King)
AMY — (exiting tearfully) I’m sorry, Daddy.
AIDE — (steps toward audience, pounds walking stick) Hear ye,hear ye, hear ye. The King has taken the punishment for hischildren. Let the kingdom rejoice and be glad in his sacrifice.(exits)
©2008 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,but all copies must contain this copyright statement.http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected]
