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OH GOD!

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(Two women are seated at a tennis match. Their heads are moving together watching the ball go back and forth. A player misses, the 1st woman speaks, and the heads stop moving temporarily.)
1st Woman: Oh God, he missed the same shot twice in a row.
2nd Woman: Oh, you talk to him, too?
1st Woman: Huh? I wasn’t talking to the player.
2nd Woman: I know that. I meant God. Didn’t I just hear you talk to him?
1st Woman: Are you crazy? I don’t even know the guy.
2nd Woman: You just said, “Oh, God.”
1st Woman: That’s just an expression. Be quiet and watch the match. (Heads move again.)
2nd Woman: (Heads stop.) Oh Susie, (as if swearing) he should have had that.
1st Woman: What? Who are you talking to?
2nd Woman: Nobody. It’s just an expresslon.
1st Woman: What’s the matter with you?
2nd Woman: If you use God’s name to swear by, can’t I use someone else’s name? In fact, I’ll use your name next time.
1st Woman: You can’t do that!
2nd Woman: Why not?
1st Woman: ‘Cause … . because it’s just plain stupid! That’s why!
2nd Woman: (pointing to match) Here we go again. (Heads move, then stop.) Oh, Cindish darn it! (swearing) Did you see that?
1st Woman: What did you say?
2nd Woman: Cindish darn it. You know, like gosh darn it. Only I changed the name.
1st Woman: But you can’t use my name.
2nd Woman: Why not? You use God’s name.
1st Woman: That’s different!
2nd Woman: What do you mean? You don’t even know him and you use his name as an “expression.” But I use your name and you get upset.
1st Woman: This is ridiculous. If I had known you were such a religious fanatic, I wouldn’t have asked you to come along.
2nd Woman: O.K., Cindy, I’m sorry. I just get tired of people using my God’s name as a silly expression to swear by. What if I used your dad’s name or the name of someone you loved every time I cursed? You would think I was making fun of them. You see, I love God and I don’t like people poking fun at him or his name. Besides, if you keep calling his name he might answer back.
1st Woman: I think I can see what you’re saying.
2nd Woman: Hey how about I go get us both something to drink?
1st Woman: Sounds good! (2nd Woman leaves, 1st Woman begins watching with head moving, then stops.) He lost the set. Oh God!
Voice over PA: You called?

Categories: Church

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