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GOD AND THE I.R.S.

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Actors For best results, the actors (four guys are needed) should memorize their lines and perhaps insert recognizable names and places to make the situation more “local.”

Action Jim: Hi, Mike. What’s the matter? You look a little “down.”
Mike: Oh, hi Jim. Yeah, I’m down all right. Tomorrow’s the deadline for paying my tuition, and I’m just not gonna be able to come up with the cash. So school’s out for me, I guess. It’s back to the salt mines.
Jim: That’s a shame. What about your folks? Can they help?
Mike: No, not really. My dad’s been out of work for the last couple of months, and they’re gonna need whatever cash they have just to live on.
Jim: Can you get a loan from somewhere?
Mike: I’ve already tried. No luck. My credit’s no good, my dad’s credit’s no good, and I still haven’t paid off the last loan I managed to con the bank out of.
Jim: How much do you need?
Mike: $750.00—cash, check, or money order.
Jim: Sheesh. That’s a lot of dough. (Bob enters.)
Bob: Hi, guys. What’s new?
Mike: 750 bucks—that’s what’s new.
Bob: Huh?
Jim: He means if he doesn’t come up with 750 bucks by tomorrow, it’s back to washing dishes at Mabel’s.
Bob: Sorry to hear about it, Mike. Lucky for me, my old man has plenty of money. He just writes the school a check every year—no sweat.
Jim: Yea, me too. Thank God for dads.
Mike: Well, that’s great for you, but what about me? What am I gonna do?
Bob: Have you had much experience robbing banks?
Jim: I hear there’s big money in pushing drugs these days. (laughs)
Mike: Come on, knock it off. This is serious. (Pete enters.) Hey, Peter, you got 750 bucks you wanna get rid of?
Pete: Hi, Mike, hi, guys—750 bucks? What are you talking about? I couldn’t afford a ticket to a free lunch.
Bob: Mike needs money for school by tomorrow or his education comes to a screeching halt.
Pete: A classic case of mal-tuition.
Mike: Very funny. Ha ha. (sarcastically)
Pete: I suppose you’ve already discussed trying to get a loan and so on.
Jim: No good.
Pete: Have you prayed about it?
Mike: What? Get serious.
Pete: I am serious. Have you prayed about it?
Bob: Come on, man. What is God gonna do? Drop 750 dollars out of the sky by tomorrow?
Pete: How should I know what God will do? But we are Christians, aren’t we? We are supposed to have faith, you know.
Mike: I think robbing a bank is easier.
Jim: Look, Mike, it’s worth a try. Jesus did say, “Ask and you will receive,” didn’t he?
Mike: But I’m not very good at praying, especially when I’m depressed.
Bob: Pete, why don’t you pray? It was your idea.
Pete: O.K. by me. Let’s pray right here. (All four bow their heads, and Pete leads them in a prayer, which he can make up, asking God to help them solve Mike’s money problems.)
Mike: Thanks, Pete. Well, look, I better get going and see if I can find a money tree somewhere.
All: See you later. Good luck, Mike. Hope you find that tree.

Scene Two:
The next day (Have someone hold up a card to that effect. Jim, Bob, and Mike t meet again.)
Jim: Hey, Mike. You’re looking a little better than you did yesterday. You must have found that money tree.
Mike: Hey, you’re not going to believe what happened.
Bob: Good news, I hope.
Mike: After I left you guys yesterday, I went over to my folks’ house, and there was an envelope addressed to me from the Internal Revenue Service. Inside it was a check for $774.13. I made a mistake on my taxes last year. They discovered it and refunded my money! What a stroke of luck! I just couldn’t believe it!
Jim: Wow! God sure answered that prayer in a hurry!
Mike: God nothing, man. It was the I.R.S.! That check was in the mail way before Pete ever prayed. Thank you, Uncle Sam!

Categories: Church

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