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BROTHER HOOD HOUR

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Equipment Set up the stage area like a typical television “talk show” and have the actors learn the lines well enough that they don’t need scripts. Follow up with a discussion or study of 1 Corinthians 12:12—31.

Action Announcer: And now, from Hollywood, it’s (music) the Brother Hood Hour, featuring the inimitable Brother Johnny Hood himself! Here’s Johnny!
Brother Hood: Thank you, thank you. (applause) Thank you, thank you. (applause) THANK YOU! Have we got a show lined up for you! We have guests from around the world to discuss tonight’s topic: Who or What Is the Body of Christ? So let’s get started and bring on our first guest. And here he is, from Ringworm, Georgia, Mr. Foot!
Mr. Foot: Well, hello, Brother Hood!
Brother Hood: Mr. Foot, I can’t tell you what a pleasure it is to have you on our program.
Mr. Foot: I’m glad to be here, Brother. I bring you greetings from the N.A.E.F.
Brother Hood: I’m sorry, but I’m not familiar with the N.A.E.F.
Mr. Foot: A man of your caliber? I find that hard to believe! Well anyway, the N.A.E.F. is the National Association of Evangelical Feet, of which I am a charter member.
Brother Hood: Oh, yes! As I recall, your group has recently come out with a new paraphrase of the Bible.
Mr. Foot: Paraphrase, my foot! This is a superior translation of the Bible!
Brother Hood:And what is it called?
Mr. Foot: Dr. Scholl’s Authorized Version. It is truly a remarkable work. This man has studied widely. He speaks eleven foreign languages, including Greek and Hebrew.
Brother Hood: Is this in any way related to the Odor Eaters’ Translation?
Mr. Foot: No, no! The N.A.E.F. looks with disdain upon the Odor Eaters’ Translation. In fact, we just think it stinks!
Brother Hood: Well, getting down to our topic, how do you, as a Foot, feel about the rest of the body of Christ?
Mr. Foot: Well, as a group of Feet, we feel that we have been trampled on by the rest of the body of Christ.
Brother Hood: And what makes you feel that way?
Mr. Foot: Let me answer that by telling you a little story. The other day at my country club—
Brother Hood: You belong to a country club?
Mr. Foot: Oh yes, Club Foot. Anyway, I ran into a woman that is in my Sunday school class. Do you know what she said to me? “Mr. Foot, you are a big heel!” Can you imagine that? I whipped around in holy anger and said, “Woman, you ain’t got no soul!” It’s just terrible the way we’re treated as Feet.
Brother Hood: I agree, that is bad! But who would you say makes up the body of Christ?
Mr. Foot: Primarily Feet.
Brother Hood: Would you go as far as to say that to be a member of this body you must be a Foot?
Mr. Foot: are you trying to buttonhole me?
Brother Hood: Oh, no, Mr. Foot! But, surely, you must have some thoughts on the matter?
Mr. Foot: Well, I do. I do believe you must be a Foot to be a member of the body of Christ.
Brother Hood: Thank you, Mr. Foot. I’d like to chat with you a bit more but I must bring on our next guest. Won’t you welcome with a big hand, from La Salada, Guatemala, Senior Hand! (applause)
Senior Hand: Buenos noches, Hermano Hood.
Brother Hood: Welcome, Senior Hand. Could you tell our audience what your occupation is?
Senior Hand: I am professor of religion at the La Salada Universitas de los Manos.
Brother Hood: I understand that the La Salada University of the Hands is a private school that grips the more traditional fundamentalist position. Is that true?
Senior Hand: Si.
Brother Hood: How do the Hands feel about the body of Christ?
Senior Hand: I’m so glad that you asked the question, Senior. We feel that, as Hands, we aren’t getting a fair shake in the body of Christ. For some reason, we’re always in hot water!
Brother Hood: Do you feel, as a result of this, that Hands become callous to the other members of the body
Senior Hand: Si, Senior. In fact, there are some Hands that say if things don’t improve, they’re going to get rough!
Brother Hood: That would be disastrous! Who do you think is the most important part in the body of Christ?
Senior Hand: Oh, most definitely the Hands! We feel that we have a great deal of common sense—we grasp things easily.
Mr. Foot: How can you say something like that!
Brother Hood: Mr. Foot! Control yourself! This man is my guest and you have had your turn to speak! Senior Hand, I am so sorry!
Senior Hand: It is all right, Hermano Hood.

Brother Hood: Thank you for your enlightening remarks, Senior Hand. And now, may I introduce our next guest? From Canterbury-on-Avon, Worchestershire, England, Rector of the Q-tip Anglican Church, bring him on with a big hand, Reverend Ear! (applause) Good evening, Reverend, and welcome to the Brother Hood Hour.
Rev. Ear: What did you say? I didn’t hear you.
Brother Hood: I said welcome to the Brother Hood Hour!
Rev. Ear: Oh! I’m sorry! Yes, it is good to be here.
Brother Hood: Rev. Ear, you have just written a book entitled A History of Ears Within the Body of Christ, published by the Earwax Press. In the book you mention, and I quote, “As a result of spiritual and social forces, Ears have become the greatest contributors to the body of Christ.” Why do you say that?
Rev. Ear: Well, I feel that Ears, as a group, have gained superiority because they are good listeners. We are indispensable to the body.
Mr. Foot: And you call yourself a minister? That’s a laugh!
Rev. Ear: What did he say?
Brother Hood: Please sit down, Mr. Foot! Rev. Ear, what other contributions have the Ears made?
Rev. Ear: We have been experimenting with musical instruments and have developed a new one for worship services. It’s called an ear drum.
Brother Hood: That sounds very interesting. Do you feel that the rest of the body is deaf to these contributions?
Rev. Ear: They are deaf only because they want to be. I believe this is because they are jealous.

Brother Hood: Thank you, Rev. Ear, for your remarks. I’d like to discuss your book with you further, but I must bring on our next guest. Please welcome Mr. Eye from Bloodshot Hills near Lake Wawanunu, Minnesota. (applause) Welcome to our program, Mr. Eye.
Mr. Eye: Thank you, Brother Hood. I’m so glad to be here. My wife thought that I didn’t have the nerve to appear on national television.
Brother Hood: I guess you’d call that optic nerve! Seriously though, Mr. Eye, we are discussing this topic: Who or What Is the Body of Christ? In general, how do the Eyes see the body of Christ?
Mr. Eye: We believe the Eyes have it!
Brother Hood: Why do you say that?
Mr. Eye: Because of our great scholastic standing. We have many pupils enrolled in our schools, you know. Due to our immense contribution to academia, we feel that we are indeed the most important part of the body of Christ.
Mr. Foot: That’s it! I’ve had it! I’m not going to listen to any more of this garbage.
Rev. Ear: I say, calm down old boy!
Mr. Foot: You wanna take it outside, Parson?
Senior Hand: You are nothing but a bully, Seсor!
Mr. Foot: Take that! (hits him)
Brother Hood: Please, Mr. Foot— (Mr. Foot hits him, too. A rumble occurs between all the guests. Brother Hood scrambles to his feet and speaks while the rumble continues.)
Brother Hood: Well, that’s our show for tonight. We hope you enjoyed it. Tune in next week when we will be discussing the Baptism of the Holy Spirit.

Categories: Church

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