Actors Peter (loud, obviously a strong leader, impatient, antsy)
John (very easygoing and laid back, thoughtful)
Beggar Beggar Townspeople
Equipment The temple gate, called “Beautiful,” at 3 in the afternoon. A few grimy beggars sit on either side of the gate looking for handouts.
Action Peter: (Enters by himself. He surveys the scene, takes a few deep breaths, and then begins to sing to the tune of “Oh What a Beautiful Morning.”)
There’s a bright, golden haze o’er the temple,
There’s a bright, golden haze o’er the temple,
I feel so excited, I can’t wait to pray—
Oh, it looks like we’re in for one heck of a day.
Chorus: Oh, what a marvelous feeling,
Oh, what a beautiful gate,
I’m in the mood for a healing….
(He pauses, realizing his sidekick John is nowhere to be seen.)
Peter: (spoken angrily) If John doesn’t come, we’ll be late! John… JOHN! (aside to the audience) You’d think the guy was off in Patmos or something! (Exasperated, he huffs and goes back out the gate, out of view. From backstage, we hear: Aha! Peter reenters and announces sarcastically: Heeeeerrrrrreeeeee’sssss Johnny!
John enters slowly, eating a camel burger as he trudges through the gate.)
Peter: Egads, man! We’re gonna be late for prayer. (exasperated) And WHY must you ALWAYS be eating? That’s why you always have those weird dreams … you eat that spicy food this late in the day. Now c’mon!
John: (slowly) Peter, Peter, Peter, or, uh, what was that the Master called you? Rocky? (From the background, the theme from the movie Rocky blares out. The actors look surprised, then it dies out.) Pete, (putting his arm around Peter’s broad shoulders in a fatherly manner) you’re always in too much of a hurry. Yup, you need to learn to take life slowly. (spying a rower box) You need to take time to smell. . . (breathing deeply, then scowling and looking with disdain at the beggars) the beggars! (He holds his nose in mock revulsion at the beggars by the gate, on either side.)
Beggar Beggar Peter: May I help you?
Beggar
Well hello, Peter,
Howdy doo, Peter
Give me money, give me silver,
give me gold.
How ’bout some cash, Pete?
Hate to ask, Pete,
But my stomach is so empty,
That I’m feeling bold.
Please share the wealth, Pete!
You’ve got your health, Pete, But
I’m lame and I can’t seem to get around.
So spell it out, Peter.
C’mon and help me out, Peter.
You know what I’m speaking of,
Give me a little o’ that Christian love,
I’ll be the happiest beggar in this town!
(with a flourish, winking to his buddy, obviously proud of himself)
Peter: (looking sorrowfully at John, then the beggar) Sorry, pal.
Beggar Peter: Read my lips. (slowly) No habla munero, amigo! Comprende? (The beggar nods slowly and starts to slink away as John nudges
Peter and whispers in his ear.) BUT (the beggar turns) even though we’re as broke as the Ten Commandments—HA HA HA (obviously amused at his feeble attempt at humor). Well, hit it, John!
(John produces top hats and canes, and they do a little soft-shoe to the tune of “Getting to Know You.”)
Jesus will heal you,
He’s gonna make you all better.
You’ll soon be walking,
Thinking about where to roam.
You won’t be begging,
Bothering us Christian leaders,
Because of all the beautiful and new
Things you’ll be able to do
With … the … Lord. (They bow eagerly, cockily.)
Peter: (grabs Beggar Beggar Beggar
Are these the legs that I was born with?
How did they get to be so strong?
I never thought that I would walk,
But I was wrong.
Chorus: Walking, jumping, Leaping, dancing,
Laughing all the day—
(Beggar
Beggar (He does so for a moment or two as the rest look reverently on, then he jumps up and the others encircle him. They all hug and chatter excitedly.)
Peter: (excitedly, suddenly realizing the lateness of the hour) WHOA! The prayer time! John, c’mon before we miss THE WHOLE THING! (They all turn and begin to try to file into the temple door over to one side of the set, but Beggar Beggar
I have often walked down this street before
Yet I’ve never seen you standing on your feet before
Now I want to know
How this thing is so.
(Peter, totally frustrated at the lateness of the hour, now has pushed through the little crowd at the temple door. He physically picks up Beggar But I think that’s the end of this show.
